I must admit that learning discipline was not one of the defining aspects that guided me in becoming the adult I am today. It required a significant amount of awareness and personal effort, including therapy, to acquire this skill. This doesn’t mean that I have achieved perfection; it is more of an ongoing journey throughout life. I believe that if I had learned these aspects as a child, the work would have been easier, but it is never too late.
In parallel with the development of empathy and understanding of emotions, discipline has been an essential component in my process of self-discovery and adaptation to life’s challenges.
What discipline is not?
Before exploring how we can effectively cultivate discipline in education, let’s clarify what discipline is not. Discipline is not about imposing authority in a dictatorial manner or inhibiting creativity and individual expression. It does not involve applying severe punishments or ignoring the needs and aspirations of children.
As we discussed regarding empathy, I grew up in a culture where freely expressing emotions was discouraged. Discipline was often associated with strict conformity and enforcing rules without providing explanations. However, learning discipline does not have to exclude open dialogue and effective communication.
What is discipline?
Discipline, in its authentic sense, represents a set of values and rules that guide children’s behavior and personal development. It is a process of self-control and managing impulses, teaching children to make responsible choices and to assume the consequences of their actions.
Discipline, first and foremost, means teaching children to take responsibility for their actions. Instead of imposing arbitrary rules, we can involve children in setting them, explaining the positive and negative consequences of their choices. Through this active involvement, we teach them not just the rules but also the reasoning behind them.
Another crucial aspect of learning discipline is consistency. Children need a stable and predictable framework to understand limits and feel secure. Consistency in applying rules and consequences contributes to forming a coherent environment and trust in the relationship with adults.
It is also important to recognize that discipline does not mean demanding perfection. Children will make mistakes, and healthy discipline involves learning from these experiences. Instead of condemning, we can guide and support them in the process of self-correction.
Just as empathy was a key component in children’s development, discipline teaches them to manage their emotions and behaviors in a constructive manner. It is a skill they will carry with them into adulthood, helping them achieve their goals, maintain healthy relationships, and positively contribute to the community.
We were raised in an era where discipline was often misunderstood or applied in a rigid manner. With the resources and information available today, we have a unique opportunity to redefine the concept of discipline in education. By adopting an approach based on open communication, active involvement, and consistency, we can contribute to shaping tomorrow’s adults who are not only disciplined but also understanding and empathetic.
How to cultivate discipline in education?
- Instead of “Don’t do that!” say, “What other options did you have, and how do you think the situation could have been managed?”
- Instead of “Don’t eat in your room!” say, “It’s important to have a clean space. How can we establish rules together to maintain order?”
- Instead of “You have to do your homework now!” say, “I understand that you’re not always motivated to do homework. How can we make the process more interesting or easier for you?”
- Instead of “I caught you lying!” say, “I understand you had your reasons. How can we handle similar situations in the future?”
- Instead of “Don’t share your toys!” say, “I want to understand why you’re hesitant to share. Let’s find solutions together that are fair for everyone.”
- Instead of “Stop fighting with your brother!” say, “I understand there is tension. How can we communicate better to resolve misunderstandings?”
- Instead of “Avoiding responsibilities is not acceptable!” say, “Responsibilities are part of our growth. How can we approach them together to make them easier?”
- Instead of “Don’t lose your patience!” say, “I notice you’re getting frustrated. How can we manage this frustration constructively?”
- Instead of “Don’t neglect school!” say, “I know school can be challenging. How can we set realistic goals and find resources to support your learning?”
- Instead of “Don’t always say you can’t!” say, “I understand that sometimes you feel you can’t. How can I help you find solutions to the challenges you’re facing?”
Discipline in education is not just a set of imposed rules but a partnership where adults and children collaborate to build a harmonious environment and positive learning. By cultivating discipline in this way, we aim to contribute to the formation of responsible, autonomous adults who are aware of the impact of their actions on themselves and others.
