Is there anyone here who has never dealt with a crying newborn? If so, please leave me a phone number to tell me how you managed. But joking aside, I believe every mother is exhausted and stressed by their baby’s crying. When you see that delicate little creature who just won’t stop crying and screaming, it may not be how you imagined it would be. Many babies cry a lot in the first months of life, which is completely normal and even beneficial for their health.
I remember when I was in the hospital with my first child, how fascinated I was by my little girl. Although I was exhausted and tired, I couldn’t stop looking at her, and suddenly she started crying so hard that I called the doctors to check if everything was okay. They assured me that crying is their way of communicating and that I shouldn’t worry, but that hysterical crying of my daughter continued for days, exhausting and stressing me more and more.
So I started looking for solutions to understand my baby’s crying. I read all sorts of articles and books, and came across this book ‘The Aware Baby‘ by Aletha Solter, which was a real revelation to me. I understood that a baby’s crying is their way of communicating with us, parents, and I learned how to recognize different reasons why they cry. This book provided me with practical solutions and helped me improve my relationship with my daughter.
A baby’s crying can be a challenge for any mother, but we should not lose hope. There are many resources available, including books and support groups, that can help us better understand our baby and develop our parenting skills.
The Aware Baby by Aletha Solter – general overview
The book “The Aware Baby” written by Aletha Solter is a valuable work about communicating with babies and their emotional development. Solter explores the emotional connection between parents and children and emphasizes the importance of authentic communication with babies. The book addresses important topics such as the emotional needs of babies, authentic communication with them, and managing crying. Solter argues that babies are very aware of what is happening around them and that parents need to be attentive to their signals and listen to and respect them. Additionally, Solter emphasizes the importance of crying and how it can be used to release emotional tension and promote healthy emotional development in babies.
The book provides useful advice for parents on how to encourage healthy crying and how to manage stressful situations to reduce tension in the family. Solter also offers examples and concrete suggestions to help parents develop their active listening and authentic communication skills. The book is divided into six chapters, each addressing an important aspect of emotional development in babies and the parent-child relationship.
Short summary of the chapters
- Chapter 1: “Who am I and who are you?” – This chapter addresses the importance of developing a relationship of trust and security between parent and child from the early days of the baby’s life. Solter explains how parents can build a strong and empathetic bond with their child through non-verbal communication and by creating a safe and protected environment for the baby’s development.
- Chapter 2: “The Baby Cries” – This chapter focuses on the crying of the baby and offers useful suggestions for parents on how to manage situations when the baby cries. Solter explains why crying is a natural form of communication for babies and how parents can better understand the meaning of crying and respond to the baby’s emotional needs.
- Chapter 3: “How Does the Baby Communicate with Us?” – This chapter addresses the importance of developing communication skills between parent and child and offers suggestions on how parents can understand the baby’s non-verbal signals and communicate with them in an authentic and respectful way.
- Chapter 4: “Expressing Emotions” – This chapter focuses on the emotional development of babies and offers suggestions on how parents can provide space and time for their child to freely express their emotions and feelings. Solter explains why it is important to encourage healthy emotional expression among babies and how we can provide support and encouragement to our child.
- Chapter 5: “Overstimulation and Stress” – This chapter addresses the impact of overstimulation and stress on the emotional development of babies and offers suggestions on how parents can manage stressful situations for their child. Solter explains how overstimulation and stress can affect the health and emotional development of the baby and provides advice on how we can prevent these situations and offer support and comfort to the child.
Practical things and recommendations
The book offers a lot of concrete examples and useful suggestions for parents on how to develop their communication skills with their babies. I list below some of the ones that were important for me.
- Emphasizes the importance of recognizing the non-verbal signals of the baby, such as facial expressions or body movements. For example, if the baby closes their eyes or turns their face away from you, this may be a sign that they are overstimulated and need a break.
- Offers suggestions on how to manage situations when the baby cries. Solter suggests that when the baby cries, parents should offer their presence but not try to calm them at all costs. Additionally, she suggests that when the baby cries, it is important to try to understand the reason for the crying and encourage healthy crying.
- Emphasizes the importance of giving the baby time and space to express their emotions. Solter suggests that when the baby is upset or overstimulated, it is important to offer them a safe and protected space to express themselves freely.
- Offers suggestions on how to develop your authentic communication skills with the baby. For example, she suggests that when speaking with the baby, you should express your emotions and use a warm and affectionate tone of voice.
- The book offers advice on how to manage your own emotions in stressful situations. She suggests that when you are overstimulated, it is important to give yourself time to relax and regain your emotional balance. Additionally, she suggests that it is important to share your feelings with a partner or trusted friend.
- Emphasizes the importance of offering physical contact to the baby. For example, she suggests that when the baby cries, it is important to hold them tightly to help them feel safe and protected.
- Offers advice on how to develop your active listening skills and respond to the needs of the baby. Solter suggests that when talking with the baby, it is important to focus your attention on them and try to understand their non-verbal signals. Additionally, she suggests that you should try to promptly respond to the needs of the baby and offer your presence.
- Emphasizes the importance of offering a safe and protected environment for the baby. She suggests that when the baby is in a safe and protected environment, they can feel more relaxed and comfortable. Additionally, she suggests that you should try to avoid stressful situations for the baby, such as loud noises or bright lights.
- Solter offers advice on how to develop your skills in managing the crying of the baby. For example, she suggests that when the baby cries, you should try to understand the reason for the crying and offer your support and encouragement. Additionally, she suggests that you should try to stay calm and not feel discouraged or overwhelmed by the crying of the baby.
The conclusion of the book emphasizes the importance of building a healthy and empathetic relationship with your child from the early days of their life. Solter suggests that when parents truly listen to their children and develop their abilities to manage crying and stress, they can build a strong and trusting bond with their child. The book offers an innovative perspective and valuable information on the emotional development of babies and can be helpful for any parent who wants to provide the best conditions for their child’s growth and development. The book is a valuable and informative read for all parents who want to better understand the emotional needs of babies and to build a relationship of trust and love with their children.
